Have you ever felt before, that somehow you were not up to the task? That somehow you were just unfit for the job? What if you failed to perform up to your own expectations? Were your expectations set too high in the first place; way too high for what you can achieve realistically? Or maybe it’s just a simple fact that you’re just plain dumb and can’t even fix this simple problem?

I have felt this before, and now I’m feeling it yet again. History coming back to haunt me. When you’ve been streamlined for something which although may be coverted, somehow just doesn’t seem to suit you? When I’m like the complete utter opposite of what’s expected, how am I going to fit in? Somehow, I sense that this won’t work out in the long run. When push comes to shove, I think I’ll be the first gonner.

Do you ever get the feeling that somehow, you failed society? Failed to become the generic mass-produced goods that they have been programmed to churn out of the factory works? That you’re now considered one of the factory rejects, with unacceptable flaws, only fit for the wholesale outlet?

What if it’s the society that failed to recognise the distinct individual that you are, and instead of refining it further, pulverised it and attempted to replace it with the generic parts which don’t seem to fit? What then, happens to the frankenstein? A mishmash of everything, not able to conform to the present, feeling outcast and different?

What if you practically slipped thru the social safety net that they specifically created to save those who happened to fall through? My circumstances are different, but looking back at history, I think I can see where it all stemmed from.
If only it was that simple …