Why is it that everytime I have something to share, when I get home and share it with the old one, I always seem to be put down? It’s not the first time this has happened, but the more it does, the more it puts me off and discourages me. It’s not the same as pouring cold water on me, or so it’s been put across, but to me, there’s just no difference. So it’s also said that it’s not to do with comparison, but then why is it brought up in the first place? If it’s not comparison, then there’s no necessity to bring it up at all, isn’t there?

The more this happens, the more I feel that I should just keep everything to myself, since that’s the best way to keep everything cool. It’s not the best solution for my sanity, but it’s probably the best for the rest. After all, I’ve already survived this far, I don’t see why it can’t survive for another quarter of a century. I’ve tried so hard just to begin to open up, and I probably be better off going in reverse again. All I need is just some supportive comments, and constructive suggestions, and not putting me down, saying “you should have some spare leave for the remainder of the year”. Something along the line such as “that’s workable, but you’ll do good by having a leave or two for the remainder of the year.”

Bah.

I remember reading in one of the past year’s horoscope that I would do good by leaving home and being independent. It should be last year’s one, but I can’t seem to find it. Anyhow, since it didn’t happen last year, I will make sure it happens this year.

It’s just so frustrating.